Remember when United States Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross did his cute little presentation on talk shows with a Cambell’s Soup can and assured us this whole tariff business was no big deal?

He was wrong.

China has decided to hit back in the worst possible way: 15% grape tariff.

Since American grape exporters can expect less revenue from China, they will try to generate that revenue elsewhere.

And that elsewhere, we fear here at The Grape Report, will be the wallets of American consumers.

Fortunately, prices are holding constant at the moment.

So run, don’t walk, to your preferred grape merchant and stock up on grapes to help you through this period of Chinese aggression.

Reminder: grapes can be frozen for up to five months.

 

You want that sweet grape nectar so badly you might just make a terrible decision.

The normal seedless grapes are priced at something like $3.29 per lb.

And being the smart consumer you are, you know this represents an overpay.

But you are desperate to experience the unique joy that comes from squeezing a grape between your teeth.

That’s when you think you see salvation.

Seeded grapes: $1.99 per lb.

A near 40% price reduction seems like a fair discount for an unequivocally inferior product.

If, btw, a merchant ever prices seeded and seedless grapes the same, or, God forbid, charges more for seeded grapes, immediately hide your money and run in the opposite direction for you know said merchant is, to put it kindly, shady.

As for those discount seeded grapes, don’t do it. Don’t ever do it. Even at a 100% discount (i.e., free), we think passing is wise.

Because nearly all the fun that so defines the consumption of grapes erodes when the bite isn’t a smooth process, when the final 15% of the experience leaves you wondering what is in my mouth? Is it ok to spit it out? Is it safe to swallow this thing?

So while we’d never advise paying $3.29 per lb., it’s a remarkably better outcome than being duped into seeded grapes.